SAVE THE DATES
Updated: Dec 2, 2020
Relationships can take on many forms. I was friends with my husband in high school and after I graduated from college we began dating. After 10+ years together including three years of marriage, our relationship has evolved as we have grown both independently and together. The foundation to our family of three is the two of us. Foundations provide support and require care to remain intact.
I am a strong believer that you should “marry your best friend.” It sounds cliché but it’s true. It’s in those moments of sleep deprivation, uncontrollable crying, diapers and overwhelming emotions, that you need your support system.
Our relationship pre kids was ideal, full of elaborate dinners (we love to eat), spontaneous plans, traveling and attempting new hobbies. My husband was the recipient of all my attention, energy and love. If we argued it was for a second, thanks to our stubborn and passionate personalities. We never held grudges and always made sure to save time for a dance around the kitchen after a few glasses of wine.
Fast forward to the birth of our daughter and que the added curveballs of parenthood. Navigating these uncharted waters can surely add some wear and tear to a relationship. It’s how you choose to react to those moments that will define you as a partnership.
I cannot thank our family and support system enough for everything they do. It is with their assistance that I am able to find the balance needed for what makes our world function. Because of them I can fully be present and in the moment.
One night a week our daughter spends the night at her grandmother's house. What does this ONE night a week do for me? Allow me to explain. I take this opportunity to catch up on chores, run necessary errands and plan a DATE NIGHT. My recommendation for couples after kids, continue to date your spouse. This may not happen immediately but when the opportunity presents itself, be sure to take it. This time allows me to recharge, reboot and catch up on some much needed sleep. I am able to re-energize for the week ahead.
We still enjoy each other’s company after 10+ years. We like talking to each other and listening to one another. We look forward to our date night. Whether we are meeting a few friends for dinner or bumming on the couch together this time allows us to reconnect physically and mentally as a couple. Our relationship is able to grow because we continue to learn and extend our capacity to emotionally support one another and meet each other’s needs. We are better parents to our daughter because of it.
“Dates got you to a place where you wanted to marry each other. If you want to stay married then keep dating your spouse” – Andy Traub